When the lights go out

I arrived back at my house tonight to find that we had no power. Nothing at all. Obviously being the adult that I am the first thing I did was check the fuse box! No joy.

Then started the, 'well what shall I do with my time.' I decided to have a shower, only apparently (and who knew?!) hot water requires electricity to make it hot. Apparently I'm not as adult as I'd like to think or surely I would have known this!

So I did what every British person does in a crisis. I made a cup of tea. I boiled the water on the hob and everything. It was pretty good actually despite my lack of enjoyment of tea in general.

It was then that I started to think: what would we do without power? A little while ago Leigh and I watched a programme called Revolution. The premise of the show was actually pretty good. It was a post apocalyptic storyline where electricity has gone. It just goes one day and doesn't come back. Unfortunately the show didn't make it past a second series but I found the whole idea fascinating. One of the things that struck me the most was that a mother who had lost her children could no longer see pictures of them as they were all on her phone which was now unable to be charged. Even now as I type this by candlelight, I kid you not - I feel like a modern Janet Austen, it is nice to actually sit down and write this because I have nothing else to distract me. Although I am worrying about my phone battery...

I know its been said before but it is so easy to be distracted nowadays. TV, Internet etc etc. It all takes away from doing things that actually engage us socially and gives us time to use our brains.

It's actually quite romantic to sit here with only the light from the night sky and a candle. I might start enforcing a power out hour in the house where we have to do things we would normally put to one side.

I'm going to bed now to get a (relatively) early night because I might as well. I've learnt two things about this blackout. 1. My phone torch kicks out more light than any candle and 2. I quite like feeling like a nineteenth century author.

C x

A Letter

Dear 16 year old self,

I thought ten years on I might be able to impart some of my 'wisdom'. So here is a letter to you.

Try not to care so much about what people think of you. Dont stress. This I say with the upmost sincerity. You will worry yourself into the ground. Stop crying over boys, they really aren't worth it. You need to realise that relationships end for a reason, and that reason is obvious. It was never going to work and they aren't good enough for you. I know it hurts but you will learn something from each one. It sounds oh so cliched but we like a cliche so seriously hold out for the good one.
Stop being so bloody mean to your parents. They love you and you should love them because they are quite frankly, awesome. So stop being a spoilt brat who thinks she is right all the time. You aren't and Mum is. Trust me on this one. I know the phone calls asking where you are can be annoying but honestly, in 10 years,  you will be calling her all the time just to catch up.
While we are at it stop being so angsty. It's really not worth our time and will achieve nothing. You need to be nice to the people that love you and stop pushing them away with bullshit and drama. You will still have people that you went to school with that are your very best friends even 10 years on so try hard not to piss them off or give them memories they can throw back at you in the future to embarrass you. On that note make sure you always make the effort to keep in touch with your friends but don't be upset if they don't make the effort back, the ones that matter will.
Please do try and do well in your GCSE's even though they won't really matter in 10 years. They will set you up with discipline and get you into college. Speaking of college, you will drop out 3 months before you take your A Levels but it was for a good life experience reason, besides we go on to spend 6 years getting a degree in English Literature, which is what we always wanted and we didn't need the A Levels anyway. But do keep writing. Write every day if you can, take the time to do so. Also don't worry about your shoddy maths. www.percentagecaculator.net is our friend.
I know you will have just got your first job washing dishes for £5 an hour. This is actually a very good rate for a 16 year old and you should really open up a bank account, (not with HSBC - they are crap), and start saving now. I know our dream is to have our own house, be married and have a child by the time we are 25 but I'm telling you now this hasn't happened. The reason we don't have a house is because we didn't save. The other things are down to your future boyfriend and out of my control.......
I'm not going to tell you to stop smoking because I quite enjoy it still but perhaps maybe consider if it is the best thing. I'm not going to tell you to drink less either because that's also up there on the list of things that are enjoyable but I will give you two tips. Drinking to excess to get over a break up is not a good idea and avoid milkshakes on a hangover. They don't mix well with us.
Please try and fight our intolerance to exercise and our love of melted cheese and fried chicken. You will still be unhappy with your body 10 years on but if you could just maybe look after it a bit better that would be great. On that note, stop wearing short skirts and getting your boobs out. Listen to your mother. We suit mid length skirts that show of our calves and you are asking for the wrong kind of attention with those low cut tops.
In a few years time you will get a call from your best friend asking you to move to Cardiff. Do this without a second of hesitation. They will be some of the best years of your life, and you will meet a group of people who mean the world to you and who love you for being you, even if you did take the Harry Potter Sorting Hat test and you are a Slytherin. Yeah. I know.
You need to have fun now and stop worrying about the future, and who likes you, and who thinks you are funny. Honestly the future will sort itself. Just stop stressing about the little things that really wont matter 10 years down the line because I can tell you, currently, life is pretty bloody great.  

C x

Thoughtful Thursday

Reading ~ The Light Years by Elizabeth Jane Howard

Loving ~ Leigh for being there for me

Wearing ~ my Hawaiian print trousers and a strappy top

Anticipating ~ pay day

Eating ~ a prawn salad

Drinking ~ Guanabana juice

Wishing for ~ the end of the week

Craving ~ CHEESE

Listening to ~ All Night by Parov Stelar

Wondering ~ why I have to be so allergic to mosquito bites

Watching ~ looking forward to watching my first ever episode of British Bake Off tonight

Learning ~ that every so often it's ok to have a bad week

Searching ~ the housing sites for a home that doesn't look completely horrible

Planning ~ the best way to save some money for the future

Trying ~ to lose some weight again

C xxx

Thoughtful Thursday

Reading ~ The Wrong Knickers by Bryony Gordon

Loving ~ that the sun is shining and it's Sports Day at work today

Wearing ~ a red maxi dress and black lace kimono

Anticipating ~ going to Bath this weekend to meet my new baby niece

Eating ~ a polo

Drinking ~ water

Wishing for ~ sleep

Craving ~ a home cooked meal

Listening to ~ Holdin On - Flume

Wondering ~ if I should start writing short stories again

Watching ~ the nursery children practising for Sports Day

Learning ~ that children are fickle

Searching ~ for things I cant afford

Planning ~ what to pack for holiday

Trying ~ not to count down the days until holiday so it comes quicker!

C xxx

A day in the life of....

So I've had a few people saying that they really liked my more honest approach to my life in my 'The Perfect World' post. It's always nice to get some positive feedback, especially when I ummmed and aaahed over whether to 'shatter the illusion' by posting it online for all to see.

I thought I might try and write a few more on how my life actually is rather than how I wish my life could be.

A prime example of this and one that shows just how lazy I actually am - a make-up artist friend of mine has invited me to an event on Tuesday to hang out with models. My first thought...'But I'll miss Big Brother!' wasn't exactly what my first reaction should have been (and yes it's still on and yes I really do enjoy watching it). I've basically turned into this boring woman in her twenties when instead of going out and whooping it up around town I would rather slob on the sofa. Every year I make a resolution that I am going to do more in London but I'm not sure why I bother. I make the same resolution about learning to drive and losing 2 stone but it's never going to happen, especially when I plan on winning the lottery so I can hire a driver and I'm never going to lose weight when there is fried chicken in the world.

This week I have actually been busy - I went to my friends house for drinks and a microwave meal on Monday, I worked an event on Tuesday, Wednesday is pub quiz night, Thursday I'm going to Wimbledon and Friday I am travelling to Bath. I am knackered though and all I want is to sit at home and watch reruns of Friends. I'm honestly so tired that I keep going to the toilet, resting my head against the wall and having 5 minute power naps. The tiredness might also have something to do with the fact that I drank 5 large glasses of wine at this event last night and got home late. I also threw up a little bit in my mouth on the way home, which meant I had that horrible burning sensasion in my throat for the whole hour and 20 minute journey home. To treat myself this morning after the horrible ordeal I bought a can of full fat Coke but upon opening said coca cola I realised it was in fact Vanilla. Vanilla! Why do they even make this crap.

So now I''m trying to keep my eyes open at my desk, whilst drinking a drink that's worse than Pepsi (and that's saying something) and contemplating how I can make it through the rest of the week without a)seriously damaging my liver b)ending up with massive bags under my eyes and c)not eating any of my 5 a day and living on microwave mac and cheese meals because they are convinenent. Fuck it - I might just go all out and get a kebab wrap on the way home instead. At least there will be lettuce and cabbage in it....

Ladies and Gentlemen. What it's really like to be a girl in her twenties living in London.

C xxx

Thoughtful Thursday

Reading ~ Mortal Instruments: City of Bones - Cassandra Clare

Loving ~ that I have a day off tomorrow. Long Weekend!

Wearing ~ A midi pink skirt and black top

Anticipating ~ Playing Sims all day tomorrow

Eating ~ Golden Grahams

Drinking ~ Tea

Wishing for ~ 5pm so I can get home

Craving ~ Toast and honey

Listening to ~ Sing - Ed Sheeran

Wondering ~ what it would be like to be a lady of leisure

Watching ~ the clock tick

Learning ~ that nothing beats sitting down

Searching ~ for more holiday clothes

Planning ~ what to do with my long weekend

Trying ~ not to think about the fact I'm not at Glastonbury

C xxx

The Perfect World

Do you ever get that feeling that everyone’s is having a bigger, brighter, more fantastic life that you are?

As a blogger and an avid blog reader I have read about so many other people’s lives and it’s sometimes hard to remember that what they are showing you and the image that they are portraying is one of perfection of their own making. Now don’t get me wrong – some of the blogs that I read, I really do think that their life is like that. Especially the lucky ones that are able to blog full time and are endorsed and sponsored to travel to far off places and go to amazing social events but the majority (I like to think deep down) are just a normal people.

I sometimes wonder what the image of me is. I like to think that I come off as a cool fun adult who lives in London, who hangs out with her close group of friends and goes to fun events, whilst maintaining my full time job and gaining a degree, all the while cooking and balancing a mixing bowl on one hip and sipping a drink with the other hand. Or maybe people just think I’m really boring, pretentious and they wish I would stop posting my blog columns on facebook and clogging up their newsfeed.

The thing is, the reason that I really keep the blog, is because it is a way to keep a diary of everything. Having failed spectacularly at keeping a handwritten one past my 22^nd birthday I now find that this is the best way to remember everything that I have done. I’m not going to lie, this is the whole point to this post – I do sometimes sit there and count my followers and wish that I had thousands of followers who hung on to my every word but I know that at least 40 people read my columns when I post them and that makes me happy (One of my posts reached 100 views the other day which made me smile lots!).     

It’s just so easy to portray a lifestyle that you want people to see on the internet. The amount of times that I have posted about something, and told a little white lie just to make it sound like I know what I’m talking about, before my friends – the ones who were there with me – call me out on it. Sometimes I’m not even aware I’m doing it! Photographs are the other easy thing to fake. The right light, angle and background can make the double chin disappear and the face seem radiant.  It is the same with pictures around the house. Look at my perfect tidy house, it is always this way with no mess at all…

Oh no wait……
 

We live in a world and a culture where everyone is always trying to keep this façade of perfect up. I want to know how all these other bloggers find people to take pictures of them as they walk down the street. I know that my friends wouldn't follow me around with a camera, waiting while I posed!  I say this not because I plan on changing it but because I am trying to make my own self aware that this happens so when I see someone else blog about that holiday with the pictures of perfect bliss:

Or the beautifully lit food shots that make your mouth water, I just have to try and remember that they have probably spent an hour trying to get that one shot and they burnt the first batch:

What do you think? Would you prefer to see the messy side of things, rather than the perfect? Would you prefer to hear about the slightly rotund girl who is forgetful, a bit of a bitch, loves a gossip and can’t go a day without eating cheese (hence the rotund-ness). The girl who spends 20 minutes taking pictures of food before she will eat it, and won’t let her boyfriend eat either. The one who much prefers to sit on the sofa watching TV than actually exploring the amazing city she lives in and who tried to cram a year’s worth of revision into 4 days because instead of revising she was baking lemon cakes and getting pissed with her friends.     

I just needed to have a bit of a chat today actually, and this is the most diary like post I’ve done in a long time. Sometimes I just need to sit down and talk. Not that it’s changed anything though – I’m still a bloody jealous person who wishes I could be paid to write a blog and travel the world but I guess sometimes it’s much more preferable to sit at home with the boy and the cat and eat an entire melted camembert with a four pack of cider.

C xxx

Thoughtful Thursday

Reading ~ The Lie by Helen Dunmore

Loving ~ my freedom

Wearing ~ A green dress and kimono. It's cold today!

Anticipating ~ Seeing my parents for the first time in 4 months

Eating ~ Trifle

Drinking ~ Water

Wishing for ~ My holiday to hurry up and get here

Craving ~ Ginger Cider

Listening to ~ Lana del Rey - West Coast

Wondering ~ How many calories are in trifle

Watching ~ the grey clouds rolling in

Learning ~ that I should go to bed before midnight otherwise I'm shattered!

Searching ~ for some energy to get through the day

Planning ~ a trip to Thailand next April

Trying ~ to convince myself that exercise isn't that painful and that I should do it

C xxx

Thoughtful Thursday

Reading ~ The One by Keira Cass

Loving ~ The sunshine

Wearing ~ The skirt from my May Favourites and cami top

Anticipating ~ The weekend

Eating ~ A banana

Drinking ~ Apple juice

Wishing for ~ More money to buy holiday clothes

Craving ~ Peri-peri chicken

Listening to ~ New Eyes - Clean Bandit's new album

Wondering ~ How to change a bad habit

Watching ~ funny GoT gifs

Learning ~ that I have bad habits

Searching ~ for the best type of mosquito repelent

Planning ~ where to visit when we go on holiday

Trying ~ to think of an excuse to leave work early so I can enjoy the sunshine

C xxx

Thoughtful Thursday

Reading ~ Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert

Loving ~ Cuddles with the cat whilst I read 

Wearing ~ Comfy leggings and fluffy socks

Anticipating ~ My course being finished, my exams over, and the 4 month break before the next one starts! 

Eating ~ Sundried tomato and feta pasta

Drinking~ Relentless energy drink

Wishing for ~ More money so I can buy the £200 worth of clothes I currently have in my shopping basket on Dorothy Perkins website

Craving ~ Dolly mixture

Listening to ~ From Eden by Hozier

Wondering~ If now is the best time to start redesigning my blog

Watching ~ Nothing. Although I really just want to catch up on The Vampire Diaries

Learning~ that I really should have started revising weeks ago....

Cooking ~ Homemade lemon cake

Searching ~ for the Sims 4 release date

Planning ~ If I can get away with going to the pub this weekend

Choosing~ the best way to procrastinate

Trying ~ very hard not to procrastinate

xxx