Thanks for the Office, but no thanks

I must be the only person in the whole world who isn't happy about the fact that I now have my own office.

I mean don't get me wrong - it's the dream right? When you finally move into your own office it means you must be important enough to have one. You have all the space to put your own stamp on it and you can get on with your work without office chatter or any distractions.

Which would all be fine apart from the fact that I go crazy if I don't talk to someone at least once an hour. It actually freaks me out. Perhaps I just really like the sound of my own voice but something is wrong with me because I hate being on my own so much that I will call Leigh sometimes, not to say anything, but just so I can assure myself that the world hasn't turned into zombies and I'm the only one still alive.

I think I might have a mild case of Monophobia. Add that to my Ornithophobia (phobia of birds) and I am a bit of a mess in general.

I just love to be around people. This is why I could never go travelling on my own, because the times I'd have to be on my own would be horrific! What on earth would I do? I'd probably start talking to myself and that would be both boring and slightly crazy.

Put me in any social situation and I will thrive, I'm not shy, I will talk to anyone. Leave me in a room on my own for over an hour and I will start to panic. Even now I haven't spoken or seen anyone in about an hour and a half and I'm trying to type this post quickly so I can go and find someone to talk to.    

So whilst it's all fun and games being able to play my music and eat fish without smelling out the shared office, I wish there was someone I could share that with. Not to mention that working at a school in the Summer Holidays is already so quiet and I'm at one end of the school when everyone else is at the other makes me feel quite nervous. Also I swear this school is haunted. Maybe the ghosts can keep me company!

So thanks for my own space, but give me an open plan office any day!

Is it just me that suffers from this? Or is this a common thing?!

Excuse me whilst I go and find someone to talk at.

C xxx

A day in the life of....

So I've had a few people saying that they really liked my more honest approach to my life in my 'The Perfect World' post. It's always nice to get some positive feedback, especially when I ummmed and aaahed over whether to 'shatter the illusion' by posting it online for all to see.

I thought I might try and write a few more on how my life actually is rather than how I wish my life could be.

A prime example of this and one that shows just how lazy I actually am - a make-up artist friend of mine has invited me to an event on Tuesday to hang out with models. My first thought...'But I'll miss Big Brother!' wasn't exactly what my first reaction should have been (and yes it's still on and yes I really do enjoy watching it). I've basically turned into this boring woman in her twenties when instead of going out and whooping it up around town I would rather slob on the sofa. Every year I make a resolution that I am going to do more in London but I'm not sure why I bother. I make the same resolution about learning to drive and losing 2 stone but it's never going to happen, especially when I plan on winning the lottery so I can hire a driver and I'm never going to lose weight when there is fried chicken in the world.

This week I have actually been busy - I went to my friends house for drinks and a microwave meal on Monday, I worked an event on Tuesday, Wednesday is pub quiz night, Thursday I'm going to Wimbledon and Friday I am travelling to Bath. I am knackered though and all I want is to sit at home and watch reruns of Friends. I'm honestly so tired that I keep going to the toilet, resting my head against the wall and having 5 minute power naps. The tiredness might also have something to do with the fact that I drank 5 large glasses of wine at this event last night and got home late. I also threw up a little bit in my mouth on the way home, which meant I had that horrible burning sensasion in my throat for the whole hour and 20 minute journey home. To treat myself this morning after the horrible ordeal I bought a can of full fat Coke but upon opening said coca cola I realised it was in fact Vanilla. Vanilla! Why do they even make this crap.

So now I''m trying to keep my eyes open at my desk, whilst drinking a drink that's worse than Pepsi (and that's saying something) and contemplating how I can make it through the rest of the week without a)seriously damaging my liver b)ending up with massive bags under my eyes and c)not eating any of my 5 a day and living on microwave mac and cheese meals because they are convinenent. Fuck it - I might just go all out and get a kebab wrap on the way home instead. At least there will be lettuce and cabbage in it....

Ladies and Gentlemen. What it's really like to be a girl in her twenties living in London.

C xxx

The Perfect World

Do you ever get that feeling that everyone’s is having a bigger, brighter, more fantastic life that you are?

As a blogger and an avid blog reader I have read about so many other people’s lives and it’s sometimes hard to remember that what they are showing you and the image that they are portraying is one of perfection of their own making. Now don’t get me wrong – some of the blogs that I read, I really do think that their life is like that. Especially the lucky ones that are able to blog full time and are endorsed and sponsored to travel to far off places and go to amazing social events but the majority (I like to think deep down) are just a normal people.

I sometimes wonder what the image of me is. I like to think that I come off as a cool fun adult who lives in London, who hangs out with her close group of friends and goes to fun events, whilst maintaining my full time job and gaining a degree, all the while cooking and balancing a mixing bowl on one hip and sipping a drink with the other hand. Or maybe people just think I’m really boring, pretentious and they wish I would stop posting my blog columns on facebook and clogging up their newsfeed.

The thing is, the reason that I really keep the blog, is because it is a way to keep a diary of everything. Having failed spectacularly at keeping a handwritten one past my 22^nd birthday I now find that this is the best way to remember everything that I have done. I’m not going to lie, this is the whole point to this post – I do sometimes sit there and count my followers and wish that I had thousands of followers who hung on to my every word but I know that at least 40 people read my columns when I post them and that makes me happy (One of my posts reached 100 views the other day which made me smile lots!).     

It’s just so easy to portray a lifestyle that you want people to see on the internet. The amount of times that I have posted about something, and told a little white lie just to make it sound like I know what I’m talking about, before my friends – the ones who were there with me – call me out on it. Sometimes I’m not even aware I’m doing it! Photographs are the other easy thing to fake. The right light, angle and background can make the double chin disappear and the face seem radiant.  It is the same with pictures around the house. Look at my perfect tidy house, it is always this way with no mess at all…

Oh no wait……
 

We live in a world and a culture where everyone is always trying to keep this façade of perfect up. I want to know how all these other bloggers find people to take pictures of them as they walk down the street. I know that my friends wouldn't follow me around with a camera, waiting while I posed!  I say this not because I plan on changing it but because I am trying to make my own self aware that this happens so when I see someone else blog about that holiday with the pictures of perfect bliss:

Or the beautifully lit food shots that make your mouth water, I just have to try and remember that they have probably spent an hour trying to get that one shot and they burnt the first batch:

What do you think? Would you prefer to see the messy side of things, rather than the perfect? Would you prefer to hear about the slightly rotund girl who is forgetful, a bit of a bitch, loves a gossip and can’t go a day without eating cheese (hence the rotund-ness). The girl who spends 20 minutes taking pictures of food before she will eat it, and won’t let her boyfriend eat either. The one who much prefers to sit on the sofa watching TV than actually exploring the amazing city she lives in and who tried to cram a year’s worth of revision into 4 days because instead of revising she was baking lemon cakes and getting pissed with her friends.     

I just needed to have a bit of a chat today actually, and this is the most diary like post I’ve done in a long time. Sometimes I just need to sit down and talk. Not that it’s changed anything though – I’m still a bloody jealous person who wishes I could be paid to write a blog and travel the world but I guess sometimes it’s much more preferable to sit at home with the boy and the cat and eat an entire melted camembert with a four pack of cider.

C xxx