London - Where the streets aren't paved with gold...

London has been bloody pissing me off recently.
Here are a few reasons why sometimes I just wish I didn't live in the city:

• Today on the tube I got elbowed in the head. Twice. Did they apologise? Did they hell.
• Whenever the wind blows you get so much grit in your eyes you stumble down the road beause you are trying so hard to get it out
• Passive Agressive thrusting of newspapers/magazines/leaflets. If I wanted a newspaper I wouldnt have my head down and both hands in my pockets
• If (because I’m a decent person) I rush told hold the doors open because you you decide at the last minute to get off the tube with your pram, and I dont want you to get crushed, please say thank you. I now have oil and dirt all over my hands. You’re welcome.
• Homeless people by cashpoints. Anyone who knows me will know that I am a huge advocate for getting people off the streets and I give freely to those who need it but I dont need you to make me feel bad for getting my hard earned money out of the cashpoint!
• The rudeness of people. Seriously, did you need to push in front of me to get on the tube that fraction of a second quicker?!
• People who shout ‘Can you move down please’ - No I boody cant I’m already squished between crotch man and the woman eating a (very smelly) tuna salad. If you have to ask us to move then there wasnt enough room for you in the first place. Get off the tube and wait - shock horror - 2 minutes for another one!
• Personal Space. Or lack of it. Stop brushing your crouch against my arse and pretending its the tube moving. Ergh.
• The windtunnels created by the buildings. My hair and dress do not thank you.
• The constant beeping of car horns. You are in a traffic jam. Beeping your horn is not going to get you anywhere any quicker!
• The inability to go anywhere without getting filthy hands and black soot up your nose
• The distinct lack of fresh air
• The large number of people that are cooler than me

xxx